I meant to blog about this sooner but the Nepal fundraising event in church and Facebook have been taking up much of my time. Poor excuses, I know.

I wanted to go into more detail about what the Lord showed me about Psalms 63 almost a month ago in prayer school. It occurred to me that by grouping verse 1 & verse 5, verses 2 & 6, verses 3 & 7, verses 4 & 8, we would get a clearer picture of what the Holy Spirit was trying to communicate. Written by David in the wilderness of Judah, you can hear the cry in his words.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Look at the words used to communicate his desire. The word translated as "Earnestly" or "Early" seems to describe a desperate need that can only be satisfied by constant, relentless waiting on Him. The closest I may have come to that feeling is after a soccer match in the heat of the afternoon. Where you feel that every cell in your body is screaming for hydration. Lynette asked a valid question during prayer meeting on Friday. She talked about being hungry for more of God. How many of us have experienced something like that? How many can truly say that we've thirsted till we've almost fainted?

Which brings me to the point.
My God is irresistible. More desirable than any treasure or jewellery.
Why is desire for God on such a low?
My God is limitless. He cannot be overdrawn, overtaxed, overwhelmed.
If you don't see a need for God, then you must not know God very well.
My God is huge. Bigger than any disaster, mishap, natural or otherwise.
If you knew my God, you would desire for more Him.

Its as logical as can be. Thats why movies have trailers, products have advertisements and superstars have posters. To inform about SOME of the things that we should expect. To give us a taste of things to come so as to WHET our appetite.

What is this dry and weary land with no water? Some people might answer, "Oh its when we're going through difficult times," or "When we're having the 'wilderness' experience," or some smarter people might try to say, "Any time that we're not in church."
To me, it is any moment apart from God. Any moment that we're not in His presence is a dry and weary place.

As I've mentioned before in the last post, verse 5 is like an immediate result of being in that position. When you earnestly desire Him it says that:

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

I don' t know about you, but I like seeing and being assured of the outcome. I will be satisfied and I will praise! Fat and rich food actually carries the meaning of abundance, to be blessed or to have the best of the land. There is a new testament equivalent in Matthew 5:6 which says:

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Verses 2 & 6 can be read together and would look like this:

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
When I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

We see here one of the keys of tapping on the promise of satisfaction. Notice here that looking, beholding, remembering, meditating are basically the same thing. Immerse yourself in knowledge about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Think about the things you learnt in prayer meeting, speak freely with Him throughout the day, ponder about the things of God during your meal times, thank Him for His promises before you sleep. I used to think that doing so would render one irrelevant to the world. But nothing could be further from the truth! This is what the world needs! The world is crying out for people who truly know God and can guide them into His presence.

We know from 1 John 4:8, 16 that God is Love. 1 John 4:9 says that through Jesus Christ, love was made manifest, or love appeared! So when verse 3 & 6 speaks about God's steadfast love, it is actually speaking about Jesus.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

His steadfast love is better than life! His steadfast love, Jesus, has been my help! My lips will praise Jesus and in the shadow of his wings, I will sing for joy. Why? Because Jesus is better than life. As Jesus says in John 10:10(KJV), "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Jesus is life.
What prevents us from drawing closer to Him?

So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

Verse 8 talks about clinging to Jesus. I feel that this English word doesn't do the original justice. The same word is used to describe the relationship between a man and his wife in Genesis 2:24. Some translations use the word "cleave to". This verse is then quoted 4 times in the New Testament by Jesus and Paul. (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31)
It would mean that our relationship with God could be compared to a loving, pure, healthy, sexual union between a man and a woman.
There is also a sweet connection between the second lines of both verses. As I lift up my hands in His Name, He upholds me in His right hand! Isn't that beautiful?

If we want to be satisfied more deeply, we must desire Him so much more.
If we want to desire Him more, we must know Him so much more.
If we want to know Him more, we must be carried away by His Word.

And Daryl entered into a covenant to seek the LORD, the God of his fathers, with all his heart and with all his soul, and Daryl rejoiced over the oath, for he had sworn with all his heart and had sought Him with his whole desire, and He was found by Daryl, and the LORD gave him rest all around.
| 2 Chronicles 15:12,14,15 |

This verse is encouraging me so much. This weekend has been spiritually and physically draining. Its not that I can't take the pressure. I've not been given anything new to handle. Its more like I'm not used to being challenged on so many fronts. I'm not doubting the Word of God and I don't think I'm lacking in faith. Its times like this, you just wish that Jesus would show up. If you spend the whole week 'serving' and then feel so far from Him, you begin to wonder. Am I really serving Him in the first place?

Maybe this is where the training really starts. This is where the rubber hits the road. Putting into practice the things that I've learnt. Its not the activities that I need to focus on completing, lessons that i need to focus on teaching, points and ideas which I need to get across. The focus should be to search after God with all my desire. Only then is there a true rest.

Psalms 63:1 --> O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Do you see the level of desire? As if I would die without it.

Psalms 63:5 --> My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips.

This is the result of that desire. Satisfaction.
I don't mean to be disrespectful to God in any way. But honestly? I am not satisfied yet.